The Programmer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question , and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50." This catches the Engineer's complete attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game.

The Programmer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Engineer doesn't say a word, reaches in to his wallet, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the Programmer. Now, it's the Engineer's turn.

He asks the Programmer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The Programmer looks at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends emails to all his co-workers and friends. All to no avail.

After over an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The Programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks, "Well, so what is the answer?"

Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Programmer $5 and goes back to sleep.

*Also these jokes came from an engineering site, so they're biased in that respect.

How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three lawyers.

"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the engineers.

They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all.

How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed lawyer.

"Watch and you'll see," says one of the engineers.

When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

quote:

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Originally posted by zarevz:
Long jokes are hard to come by these days, so if anyone knows any feel free to go ahead and post them.

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quote:

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A Programmer and a Person of Indefinite Vocation are sitting next to each other. The Programmer says "Hey, can I ask you a question? If you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. If I don't know the answer to your question, I'll pay you $50". The POIV called him a froot loop, but agreed.

The Programmer asked a question. The POIV didn't know the answer, so paid him $5.

The POIV asked "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The Programmer searched the Internet but couldn't find the answer. He gave the POIV $50, and asked what the answer was. The POIV gave him $5.

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quote:

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Originally posted by zarevz:
Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. blah blah blah

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Yeah, that's funny because lawyers are stupid!

The cafeteria is pretty quiet, but every once in a while, the new Warden notices that one of the inmates will call out a random number, and everyone else will burst out laughing. Like one guy will shout out "72" and everyone laughs. Then another guy shouts out "46" and they all burst out laughing again.

The Warden wonders what's going on, so he asks the Guard why they all burst out laughing whenever a number gets called out. The guard replies "They've been in here so bloody long that they've memorised and numbered all the jokes they know, and to tell them they just call out the number". The Warden is amazed by this, and asks if he can have a go. "Sure", the guard says.

So the Warden calls out "94", which is quickly followed by the most uproarious laughter the Warden has ever heard. The inmates are in stitches, rolling around on the floor laughing so hard there's tears running down their cheeks. "Why did they laugh so hard?" The Warden asks the guard. And the Guard replies "They haven't heard that one before".

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"Look, it's a giant talking egg!" - Sonic, in Sonic Adventure.